A recent discussion on the forums has made me stop and do a little soul searching.  Am I beginning to despise the newer bikes?  Why do I always seem to find something wrong with the new models?  Am I just a cynical asshole? I feel like one of those jerks who criticize everything they come across.  Football sucks, sushi sucks, taxes suck, religion sucks, the justice system sucks, boob jobs suck, golf sucks, beer tastes like piss…..

I could go on forever, but I won’t, because that would suck.

The subject for my consternation was the new ZX-14R.   Boasting a rear wheel horse power number of 195 and change, modernistic fairings with a touch of retro strakes, a’la “Miami Vice”, a big, fat exhaust can, and a really bright green paint scheme make it a sight to behold.  Or does it?

Let’s break this down for a second.  It’s fairly common knowledge that I love Kawasaki, so it’s not a brand issue.  I grew up on the big green, so it couldn’t be the color, right? 

Maybe.

(Hit the read more link below you whippersnapper!)

To me, it screams “LOOK AT ME!  I’M ON A BRIGHT GREEN MOTORCYCLE!  YOU SHOULD BE IMPRESSED!”.  So you have a bright green motorcycle that everyone should notice, and that’s a good thing, because as motorcyclists, we want to be seen.  I just don’t want that kind of attention.  It’s the color of a child’s toy, frankly, and before you point out that I ride an “Eddie Lawson Replica” ZRX1100, which are traditionally lime green, let me remind you it’s been painted dark red.  So there.

Could it be all that God-awful plastic?  Why not?  I swore off plastic after I crashed my 93’ Katana 600 back in 94’.  I totally high-sided this bike, it was a mess.  So I trucked it home, took it apart, beat the frame back into submission with an aluminum baseball bat and some string.  I put it back together and rode it around “streetfighter” style.  This was way before streetfighter was a style.  I had a round car headlight zip tied to it, and old, clamp-on the bar mirrors routed under and out to the sides of the clip ons.  I was so embarrassed.  It looked terrible, and I was always making excuses why it wasn’t done.  The real excuse was, I couldn't manage to prostitute myself out for the 600.00-800.00 worth of painted plastic I needed to make it right.  I finally got it all together, and it looked pretty good, if I do say so myself, but I remember being so frustrated at one point I made a mental note to avoid bikes with all the plastic fairings on them in the future.  To this day I think the Hayabusa is the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Now this is weird…I don’t like the exhaust.  I should, cause it’s big and fat like the ones I grew up with, but I don’t like it.  I think if the bike had undertail exhaust it would look better as a whole, cleaner maybe.  I guess what’s weird about it is undertail exhaust is relatively new, but I still like it.  My ZRX, or “Evil Betty” as I like to call her, has a big, fat exhaust on her to, but she's naked, so I’m good with it.

So the horse power doesn’t bother me, not one bit.  I’m really down with the dyno numbers.  I rode an S1000RR the first year it came out, and it was big on horsepower.  Lots of plastic, too, but that’s okay, it’s got a shit ton of horse power.  Horse power is the saving grace of plastic bikes, apparently.

I’ve always said I never met a bike I didn’t like.  Two wheels and it should be fun, but I suppose as I get older, I’m getting crankier.  More apt to find fault in someone else’s vision, and for that I should be beaten.  But even the Moto Guzzi V7 classic, which did not get a stellar review from yours truly, has left a warm memory in my heart.  It was the first Guzzi I’d ever ridden you know, and now I’m kind of fond of it.  Interestingly enough, the V7 Classic is low on horse power and has no plastic.  Am I the only one seeing the trend here?

On a side note, the Yamaha Super Tenere, which is widely regarded as one of the ugliest bikes to cross a creek, appeals to me.  It really does.  I have no idea why.  Maybe I push back against the normally accepted version of style.  It’s possible, because my socks never seem to match.   

Maybe I should go bust out the ton on a new ZX14R and see how I feel about it then?